Tuesday, September 19, 2006

An open letter to truck accessories.

Truck Accessories,
I need to write you this letter as a confession. A confession of my love for you. Truck accessories, you've been with me in the best of times, and you were there in the worst of times.

Remember that road trip where we helped my dad's tired F150 squeeze out 22 MPG's? That was great. High Performance Air Intake system, you and your buddy, the dual exhaust system, really stepped up and took one for the team that day. You cleaned air and fed the Ford F-150's engine admirably.

Hood guard, you performed perfectly as well. Not a single bug hit the windshield. What about the time I accidentally drove through that mud puddle and you got dirty? I'm really sorry about that. I was being irresponsible and I apologise.

And my darling hood guard. Remember the time a rock hit you on the highway? You saved my life. The Dodge Ram in front of us didn't have the appropriate mud flaps installed and his rear tire kicked up the rock. That rock could have hit the hood or windshield. The windshield might have shattered and I would have lost control of my Silverado and flipped over and died. If only that driver loved accessorizing his Dodge truck as much as we do.

But don't fear, brave little hood shield. For you came with a lifetime warranty. All I had to do was call the retailer where I purchased you and they replaced you, no questions asked.

And I can't forget my little buddies, my carpeted floor mats. You guys are great. You protect my truck's factory carpet from the elements. Your raised lip traps dirt and water. Your thick, lush pile is comfortable for my feet. Your factory colors help you fit in perfectly. And the fact that you are custom fit for my truck, it makes me love you that much more.

Truck accessories, I can't believe that I'm actually telling you all this. I'm usually so shy. But I've been drinking and I have some thoughts to get off of my chest. Well, I had some thoughts, but they're gone now. You know...cause of the drinking.

Smooches,
Cleveland Mike

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