Well, I opened this "new post" box with the intent of talking about truck accessories. Forget about that. I've come across something much, much more interesting: the new 4WheelDrive Hardware catalog.
These guys must have the worst timing of any catalog company, ever! They've dropped a sales catalog that makes fun of Steve Irwin (the public's most trusted animal expert.) two days after he died a horrible death. What the hell? You guys are a mess.
Obviously this catalog cover idea was thought of and quite possibly printed months ahead of time. The shipper probably dropped them in the mail two days before Mr. Irwin's untimely death. There was no way of knowing what would happen. Unless...
Perhaps a rival company knew of 4WheelDrive Hardware's intent to drop this Irwin-esque catalog and sabotaged them by offing Mr. Crock Hunta! Maybe there was a hired hand from AIM Industries inside of the stingray (or manta ray, who can tell the difference?).
Speaking of stingray, have you ever seen one of their faces? It's on the bottom of the damn thing and looks like a smiley face. It's f-ing terrifying.
I'm serious. Sea creatures scare the hell out of me. Land animals I understand. They've got legs that they walk on, heads on top of their bodies, some sort of "hands" and some sort of feet. But sea creatures...who the hell knows what's going on with them?
They've got tentacles (maybe testicles too. The only man brave enough to find out is now deceased.) But they've got appendages everywhere and armor and gills and lots of eyes and little flippers and various other forms of motion, legs, blow holes, uh...walking...swimming.
To tell you the truth, I don't know shit about sea life. All I know is that one time I was hanging out with Gramps down in Florida and he told me to go down by the water and stick my little 5-year old finger down into the sand. So I do.
Exactly one half-second later I feel as if my finger has been cut off. I yanked my wounded little finger out of the sand and there is a dreadful sea monster hanging from it. His horrible, tiny little claw was latched onto the end of my finger like a horrible little claw latched onto the end of my finger. Yeah, you guessed it, I screamed like a little girl.
I flailed my arms about like an idiot and the little monster let go and flew straight up into the air. It promptly landed at my feet and chased me around the beach for five whole minutes. Did dear old Grandpa help? No. Did the nice lady selling ice cream help? No.
Eventually a nice man ran over, picked up the little hell spawn and flung it back into the sea. "Be gone," he shouted! "I cast thee back where to whence thou came!" or something stupid like that. I don't remember, I was too little.
You know what doesn't suck? Truck accessories. Has a hood guard ever bitten you on the hand? Did your performance air intake system ever chase you around the beach and scare you to death? I didn't think so.
They've been nice to you, now be nice to them. There are many, many truck accessories that need a good home. They've been left on cold and lonely warehouse shelves for weeks at a time with no love. Please give to your local Truck Accessory Charity.
Please visit www.stylinconcepts.com for more information on how you can give these lonely truck accessories a good home.
Go Browns!
Labels: Air Intake System, Hood Guard, Stylin' Concepts, Truck Accessories
